The Morning Joy

finding the beauty beneath

It’s Tuesday & I am in love with you
Tomorrow will be Wednesday & I will still not want to be without you

You are the one I love
Please do not turn to stone

“I may not be your old guitar that plays each of your favorite songs perfectly in key, but my god, give me your soul and I’ll paint it with colors more beautiful than the sunset. You would be amazed at what these hands can do when you put fire in my bones.”

—   Me, when I think of my love for him as a poem

“I would rather drown than live a shallow life”

The words that came out of your mouth next stopped my thoughts dead in their tracks, stole the breath from my lungs, and wrecked my entire world in an instant.

"I’m in love with you."

And I will never be the same.

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing”

—   Benjamin Franklin

I get it, I really do

You aren’t one of those “scream it from the mountain tops” kind of guys. And that’s okay. It really is. But, it would be alright with me if one night as we lay on the couch, or under the stars, or when we make our nightly coffee run or maybe as our tongues dance… if you would just tell me everything you felt since day one

tell me about the butterflies you felt and didn’t feel, tell me about the days that you wanted to rip your hair out because of me and the days where I made everything okay again with a hug, tell me about the time you were nervous and didn’t know what to say and the nights where I said exactly what you needed to hear
tell me how it feels to know me 

tell me that you’ve never met anyone like me

tell me that if it is the truth

let me in, tell me

Sometimes I am amazed at how much of my life is spent just… waiting

and I hate it
I mean, I really hate it

I hate that hollow feeling  

"Do you think you’ll ever let me in?" she asked, fearful of the answer
He shook his head “yes” without a moment’s hesitation. She battled to keep the grin that was so desperately wanting to form from doing so. 

"I think I’ve… already started to" he said. It was more of a whisper, an exhale, a thought escaping his lips than it was a bold statement. But, she could feel the truth in it. That he meant it. 

And only she knew how much that meant.

And the grin found its home pulling at the corners of her lips. 

"I asked Pastor how you show someone unconditional love…"
"And why did you ask him that?" 
"Because when he was talking about it, it sounded like you. and I realized, I don’t know how to do that" 

I hope you know that I see so much beauty in our moments like this, where I see you leaping out of your comfort zone and trying to let me in. I understand that you do not know how to go about giving someone your heart, completely and that living life and feeling things scares you. I understand. And what I hope you know is that I am not expecting you to drop your guard, demolish your walls and march me into the well protected places of your heart in a month, or two months, or a year. I am not rushing you. I see your desire to give yourself to me, to break your thought pattern, and to fall into me. I see you trying to be more, do more… for me.

So, you don’t have to worry about me being disappointed in you, or this relationship.

Because I see you learning about love, and trying your hardest.
And that means a hell of a lot more than if you did it because it came natural.

Keep believing in me.

Because I believe in you.